BASICS OF BODY LANGUAGE

Generally, most people don't mean what they say. There is a contrast between what people say and what they actually mean. According to research the impact of what you say is 7%, how you say it, i.e. voice modulation, tone and so on is 38% and the remaining 55% is body language.
Aren’t the statistics interesting? What is so prominent about non-verbal communication? Why is it given such importance?

Body Talk

There are two parts in communication; the verbal and the non-verbal. The latter is generally referred to as body language. Does the body have a language? The answer is yes. There is a meaning in each and every body movement or gesture. According to the Oxford dictionary, “A gesture is a movement of a part of the body to express an idea or meaning” or “An action performed to convey one’s feelings or intentions.” It’s a form of non-verbal communication made with a part of the body, and used instead of or in combination with verbal communication.
Body language is simply the outward reflection of a person’s mental or emotional condition. Observing the body language of a person can convey a lot about him or her. It is given so much importance because “Actions speak louder than words”. The body doesn’t know how to lie. Unconsciously, it telegraphs the thoughts as you fold your arms, cross your legs, stand, walk, move your eyes and your mouth.

Kinesics

Kinesics is the study of communication through body movements. It’s a term developed by behaviorists to refer to the way various human gestures reflect feelings and attitudes. It was developed in the 1950s by an anthropologist, Dr.Ray L.Birdwhistell. He estimated that an average person speaks for a total of ten to twelve minutes a day and the time taken to complete the sentence is only 2.5 seconds.
Today, Kinesics is one of the most talked about and the most obvious non-verbal communication forms. It’s also one of the most confusing areas of non-verbal communication behavior because there are various meanings that are communicated through the same body movements across different races and cultures of the world.
This example will illustrate why the confusion prevails. The thumbs-up gesture when used may mean different things to different cultures. It means “good” in several Western cultures, “one” to Italians, “five” to Japanese and is a rather rude gesture in Greek culture. Therefore it could create a lot of confusion until one is well versed with the cultural influences and differences across the globe.
Kinesics is classified into five categories. They are emblems, illustrators, affect displays, regulators and adapters.
Emblems can be defined as non-verbal messages which have a verbal meaning.
Illustrators are used to illustrate what is being said.
Affect Displays are body movements or facial expressions that show a person’s emotional state.
Regulators are body movements or facial expressions that are used as means to continue a conversation. It can be used as a means to tell the other person that he/she is understood or simply it’s used to give feedback.
Adapters are simple posture changes that may be needed so that the person may be comfortable.

Rules for Accurate Reading

The outcome in any given situation doesn’t necessarily reflect the attitude the people actually possess. Experts in the field of body language always insist on three basic rules that must be followed, especially by beginners, so that they don’t misinterpret what is actually happening. The three rules are:

1. Always read gestures in clusters
   
   Gestures always happen in clusters, which is synonymous with “sentences”. A gesture cluster is just like a sentence which needs at least two or three gestures or words, so that it will reveal what exactly the other person is trying to convey.
2. Look for Congruence
   
   Congruence is a state when a person’s words and body language match exactly. If you want to clearly know the person’s state of mind, then observe the gesture clusters and their congruence.
3. Gestures in Context
   
   It’s advisable to relate gesture clusters to the context in which they occur. This means that the external environment also influences gesture clusters.

Basic Secrets of Attractive Body Language

There are some basic tips on possessing attractive body language. They are:
Eye contact: The amount of eye contact that you give should be comfortable to others. Staring for too long or avoiding eye contact can either make people very uncomfortable or make them think you’re bored or uneasy.
Posture: Having the right posture is an important part of body language. It reflects your state of mind. Some simple tips are lean forward when listening and stand straight while speaking.
Gestures: Maintain a balance in the amount you gesture. Try to be conscious of what gestures you are using at different times or situations. Don’t over do it, but you can still be expressive.
Shaking hands: Hands are a very important tool in body language. When shaking hands try to give as much pressure as the other person exerts. Squeezing too hard or holding the other person’s hand limply is not advisable as it may cause them to develop negative feeling towards you.
Head movement: Head movement is important to maintain a rapport during a conversation. Some positive signs in body language are nodding the head while talking and tilting it when listening.
Territory: Territory is the amount of space occupied during a conversation. It’s a good practice neither to stand too close nor too far while talking with people, particularly strangers.
Learning the basics right is very important in the art of understanding people. Using body language correctly and effectively is very important in making the right impression.